Tag Archives: manhood

Being a Woman Who Lets a Man be a Man.

I most certainly agree that women need to get out of the way of men, and let them be the men they need to be. This is a humble, honest, and great post.

Ravished Heart Journey

I’ve been tossing this idea around for a few months now, debating on my courage to step out and write a blog about it. I was holding back from posting because I didn’t have the answers I thought I should have; I wanted to present a new idea with new passion and new revelation. 

But the truth is: I have no idea. I do not have a firm grasp on what it was intended to be, how we’ve messed it up, or how to progress out of it. Please, though, can we just talk about it? Because honestly, does anyone know? 

Femininity. Masculinity. 

Has our inability as women to walk in femininity resulted in the quenching of men’s ability to walk in masculinity? 

ility, inity, ility, inity…. What does this even mean? 

Here’s what I am trying to get at. Ladies, how often do we complain that our men aren’t…

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Are you a boy or a girl?

This is a terribly sad and tragic thing. My heart goes out to everyone who is lost in all this confusion….

momsalzheimers

“Are you a boy or a girl?” my mom whispers into the phone, afraid her roommate might hear her question.

“A girl,” I say.

“You ARE?” she asks, as if she can’t believe it, as if it’s deeply upsetting for her.

“Yes.”

“How long have you been a girl?”

“I’ve always been a girl, Mom.”

“I never knew all this time that you were a girl,” she says, a note of shock in her voice. “Does it bother you to be a girl?”

“No, Mom.”

“Does everyone else in the family know you’re a girl?”

“Yes.”

“No one ever told me.”

I don’t know what to say to that.

“Do you look like a girl?” she asks.

“I guess so.”

“Do you have long hair?”

“No, I have short hair.”

“Do you dress like a girl?”

“Umm … yes.”

“Do you get your period and that kind of stuff?”

“Yes.”

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Modern Enemies of Masculinity: Re-Blogged

This is a re-posting of the article from http://www.yuriyandinna.com

I highly recommend you check out his other post, as it’s a two part series.

 

“Today’s world is seeing the greatest attack on Biblical masculinity that there has ever been!” That would have been a great intro and I really wanted to use it, but it’s not true. Biblical masculinity has always had enemies and has always been under attack. Twenty three hundred years ago, as Alexander the Great was storming the gates of Persia, Biblical masculinity was just as under attack as it was in the 60’s with the feminist movement. It has always been under assault and always will be. The enemies may change but the assault never does. So where do we see the greatest onslaught against manhood for today’s generation? I believe there are four ideas and cultural concepts that are the greatest villains and enemies preventing men from being men.

Prolonged adolescence

I lived seven years in the Ukraine, under the  “old ways.” I recall going to the store to buy bread, in the Ukraine, while being about six or seven years old; alone and without my parents. They let me, a child, go grocery shopping in a post-communist country with mafia roaming the streets! Unbelievable! Yet six years later I could hardly step foot outside the door without being warned of the many dangers, from kidnappers who would steal my organs, to street gangs who would sell me drugs. The modern American culture put far less responsibility on 14 year old Yuriy than the Slavic culture did on the 7 year old Yuriy. I became far less independent as a teenager, than I was as a child. This trend was not new, it has been ongoing for many years now. While a teenager in the 19th century was expected to be the man of the house, run the farm, and protect the home, the teenager of today is only expected to play Farmville.

In America I joined millions of other boys who lived sheltered lives and refused to grow up. Whatever the individual causes are (personal laziness, fear of growing up, uncertainty of the future, lack of role models) we as a culture embrace this prolonged adolescence. Growing up is not seen as very fun, and more so not necessary. Why grow up and take on responsibility when you can be a kid forever? Responsibility and work appears hard, dull, and unrewarding, while staying home and being stimulated by the extravagant sensory stimuli of video games, drugs, alcohol, movies, music, and porn is far more rewarding.

In addition the fear of failure hangs like a dark cloud above every act of responsibility or undertaking. While in video games we can accomplish things with no fear of failure; die or fail? You have one hundred more lives, or you can simply restart from your last save. And if it gets too stressful, you can simply turn it off and play another game. Having to marry, love, and care for one woman for the rest of your life is hard. It requires a deep seated commitment, a form of responsibility to the woman, rather than simple response to psychological or sexual desire. Looking at porn or sleeping around with girls is much easier, when one wants a sexual reward, he simply clicks or texts, and later when he doesn’t want it, he moves on. By remaining a teenager one can simply do what he wants to, not what he should do.

Our culture encourages young men that it is good and normal to remain boys. It is rather ironic but this partly happens in response to our overzealous attempts to give boys “their childhood.” Rather than explaining to children that adulthood is about taking responsibility for others who depend on you, our society as a whole explain it as the time of independence from parental restrictions. Rather than teaching manhood as giving up your desires to care for others, boys are taught that manhood is the time when you can follow your desires and do anything you want. In addition we have over-glamourized youthfulness as the perfect ideal that everyone wants to remain in or return to. This in turn has created a generation of children with voting rights.

The culprits range from overprotective mothers who baby their sons to irresponsible media portrayals of men, yet the ultimate effect is the same: men are don’t take on accountability and responsibility. They are either afraid of the hard work and the possibility of failure because they have been babied, or they don’t want it because they have been trained to follow their lazy and overstimulated feelings. Manhood, on the other hand, involves taking responsibility for the well being of others. For the babied child-man this is frightening and for the overstimulated man-boy this is not as rewarding as pursuing his own pleasures.

Reckless machismo

Of those that have matured beyond the fear of responsibility and actually want to become men, in some shape or form, there is an even greater problem, they don’t know how to. There is a striking lack of role models in contemporary society. Primarily there is a huge lack of fathers, according to the statistics, at least one third of all children grow up without a father. (1) And those that have a biological or adoptive father, don’t necessarily have one who can adequately model masculinity. This leaves our generation without much in terms of solid role models of manhood. And to make matters worse our society and culture is so contorted that true masculinity is not help up in high regard. Because of this, those boys that have solid role model fathers, uncles, teachers, and others often choose to imitate other “boys who can shave” because of their glamorized portrayal in society or media.

I grew up thinking Rambo was the greatest man ever. Granted, my parents did not know this, nor did they let me watch it, however, I had my ways, which usually included sneaking out to a friend’s house when both of our parents were away. In the first Rambo film, Rambo kills 58 people, in the second 78, and in the third he singlehandedly takes down a total of 83 bad guys. Rambo is not someone you want to mess with, he exudes toughness, strength, and domination. Even now I can picture the puffed out Sylvester Stallone lip, slightly drooping to one side. One simple glance from Rambo was enough to cause grown men to cower. He was a total “badass,” or so I thought. Unfortunately I wasn’t alone in thinking that and ended up growing up thinking manhood had something to do with big muscles, a mean face, demeaning manner, and fighting… lots of fighting.

In most ancient cultures, great warriors were greatly honored. Notwithstanding the fact that there were indeed great men of renown, who fought bravely for justice and righteousness, most “great warriors” were simply rapists and murderers. The majority of these brute men would simply run into a town or city, kill its men, and rape their women (all because their king/chief wanted to feel masculine and powerful). It was a world of brute force and strength. If you had strength, you could take anything; if you were weak, you could do nothing. The strong preyed on the weak, even in the home, physically powerful men would domineer over their own wives, daughters, and sons. Other men, who were kind or gentle, were seen as effeminate or weak.

Unfortunately much of our modern concept of manhood still stems from such vile, ugly, primal ideas. For many 6ft boys the idea of masculinity of manhood is centered on strength, power, and toughness. Many think masculinity is about taking anything you want through violence or arrogance. While popular media, in film and television, often portrays heroes as self-sacrificial and responsible, just as often it shows them as those that take what they will through violence. Many growing boys assume this portrayal of physical toughness is the defining feature of masculinity, and grow up to become spoiled irritable children, in tough, battle-tested, muscled bodies. They are fearsome, yes, but are they masculine? Hardly.  Biblical manhood on the other hand shows men as both tough and tender, or lamblike/lionhearted as Christ (Rev 5:5–6). True masculinity is not about taking with violence, but sacrificing with humility. It is about displaying toughness to protect those you love, and eschewing tenderness towards them.


G. I. Jane is a Failure

Image     I am sure many of you are familiar with the movie G. I. Jane.  I am embarrassed to say, I used to love that movie. I always love a good story about someone who succeeds when the odds are stacked against them. I think everyone does. And a woman is most certainly going to have the odds stacked against her, trying to go Navy Seals. A woman is not a good as a man, she is not man’s equal. Not in this sense. She was not made to be his equal; not in regards to strength, combat, or manhood. Nor is man meant to be a woman’s equal in beauty, femininity, and womanhood. But so many people think that that would then make women inferior  to  man.

For some reason, we cannot accept that fact that men really can do some things better then a woman. And vice versa. And because I am pointing that out, I must be a male chauvinist. Unfortunately, these mentalities are in the reformed church. Unfortunately, there are many in the churches who think that G. I. Jane is a hero, and a wonderful model; as long as she submits to her husband and goes to church on Sunday.

I now see how the move is nothing but liberal feminist propaganda. G. I. Jane, Navy Seal extraordinaire, is a man, not a woman, regardless of how much she ‘submits’ to her husband. It does not matter if she puts on make-up or a dress when she is in the home, she is not a woman but a disgrace. Our society esteems her as a success; but she is a failure.  But she is a perversion as a woman. She is doing a man’s job in a man’s world, where a woman does not belong. And yet, we want to train women up, and put them in combat. The police force has been doing this for a while, trains women for combat, and sends them in to do what they should not be doing. If you don’t think it’s ‘combat’ then I ask you, what do you call it when people shoot people? Which results in death? By definition….that is combat. Why do we have so many so called ‘Christians’ who support gay marriage, a women’s supposed ‘right’ to kill her child and women going into combat? Anyone who supports women in the military and the police force is wrong; for combat is in the job description. In case no one noticed….

Now, maybe you disagree, in fact you probably do. If nothing else, I am sure you’re thinking that I am being too harsh. You are free to believe and espouse your beliefs about what you think a successful woman is compared to a failure; if you believe that a woman who is president or a Green Beret is a success, and that a stay-at-home mom is a failure, you are, unfortunately, allowed to have such a perverted and backwards belief. But rest assured, I will be espousing mine, which, I too, am allowed to both believe and share. A woman who is a man, that is, a Navy Seal, or a cop, regardless of how much she obeys her husband….is a failure as a woman, for she is a man, not a woman. I will never see it any other way. Men are no longer men, because women, are no longer women. I pray that we as  a country repent of this horror.

 

Picture taken without permission from:

http://tinyurl.com/qgxlsgt


Re-Blogged: Men and Daddies

Re-blogged from The Diary of a Slave

Throughout the years, as I have grown into a man, married and had children, I have noticed a disturbing trend. This trend, to be completely frank about it, is feminist geared and straight from the pits of hell. I have noticed:

  • Men are being neutered
  • Men are being persecuted by the woman who, in this society has the power and gumption to take on anyone and not stop until they have achieved their goals.
  • Fathers are being fazed out.
  • Husbands are being forced to be sit down and be quiet while the wife goes to work, leads the church and runs for gov’t.
  • Men are being told, ‘We don’t even need your sperm anymore’.

What is a man supposed to do? God has clear commandments for us to follow and society has made it nearly impossible to do so. What are we supposed to do? This page will attempt through the Holy Spirit to guide us, instruct us and encourage us to be the men God has destined us to be. This won’t be about using chainsaws, swigging back beer and growing a great big beard, it will be about following Christ’s example, and treating those around us the way THE MAN of men did. He is our hero, our champion, let us follow in His gigantic footsteps, shall we?

“My main ambition in life is to be on the devil’s most wanted list.”

*******

December 3, 2010

Men, are you taking care of your homes? I know you are good at taking care of your employees, stocks and such, but what about home? What about your children and wife?

John MacArthur does a wonderful sermon on this very subject. To listen to it, click HERE

To download this sermon in MP3, click HERE

Read more here:

http://revivalandreformation.wordpress.com/for-men/


Beautiful Men, Handsome Women?

 

Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. — Proverbs 31:30

Now that I have grabbed everyone’s attention with the previous post about stereotyping, let us continue to discuss and dig into this matter. In Proverbs 31 we see a wonderful description of a woman who is of great value, a rare jewel. One can argue that this was written for women; that they may strive to be like this. And one can also validly argue that it was written for men; that they may have a model to base their search on. It was written for the edification of both genders, that everyone will benefit from it.

Today, I would like us to take a rather different sort of look at it. Charm is deceptive, beauty is fleeting. This passage is assuming something. It is assuming that the reader needs to hear these words. It is assuming that either the man needs to read this because he is so obsessed with his looks, and his beauty, and his hair, or it’s assuming that the woman needs to be told that when looking for a man, to not be shallow; pick one that is more than just a handsome hunk. Wait….I think I got the stereotypes backwards. No, Scripture very clearly is saying what we all know to be true…that women as a whole, in general do have a tendency to care an awful lot about their beauty, sometimes too much. And men as a whole, in general tend to fall for a good looking woman, instead trying to see beneath her skin and into her heart. Now, if I were to say these things to people, it would be deemed words of wisdom. But if I say that women tend to struggle with vanity….how dare I stereotype….shame on me.

I want everyone to understand that stereotyping can be done in a wrong, ignorant, and sinful way, just like everything else. However, this stigma, this antipathy towards stereotyping is neither healthy nor wise. The Holy Spirit generalized, knowing that many women struggle with vanity, and in fact, they do so more than men. This is not an unfair or unjust generalization of the genders. We have to realize that sometimes stereotypes are good, sometimes they are right, and sometimes they ain’t fun and the truth just hurts. Tomorrow, Lord willing, I will be able to come out with the final post on this short series on stereotyping, which I hope will be edifying everyone.


Thoughts on Raising Children, Boys as Boys and Girls as Girls…..

Humans have a natural tendency to be cliquish, we are all aware of this, and we have this notion that they are always destructive and harmful. Well, I would like to submit that this is not always so. There is a ‘man’ clique and a ‘woman’ clique. And I will dare to say that these cliques are both good and healthy. Yes it means rejection, and yes rejection is painful and unpleasant, but it is not as destructive as one might think. If a man tries to join the ‘woman’ clique, and finds that they reject him, but that the men are welcoming and inviting logic says it is rather simple as to where he will go. And vise versa. But suppose the opposite, say that a woman is rejected in the ‘woman’ clique and is accepted and esteemed in the ‘man’ clique. It is also fairly simple to understand this dynamic.

There is this idea that rejection will hurt ones self-esteem, and true, I would say this is true. But I will also submit that this is perfectly ok and acceptable. Take for example, the number one reason men are so scared to ask a woman out on a date; fear of rejection. And yet we find that this is not an acceptable excuse or reason for a man to be cowardly. It is not healthy to always live in fear of rejection. What we need is for men and women to stand up, and tell the opposite sex to get back into their groups. A man doing all the things a woman does and being womanly about it, does not, and never will, make him ‘equal’ to a woman, for equality does equal uniformity or sameness. And a woman doing all the things a man does and being manly while doing it, will never make her ‘equal’ to a man. Equality is, at its most basic and important level, never derived from any action or quality. Neither man nor woman can add to their value, their intrinsic value that is assigned by God. True, man does assign value, and he always will. He will do so from his own limited view and it will always be faulty, because as man; and therefore a created being; he is vastly limited in his sight. No, people will never understand equality if they do not perceive and understand it from the eyes of the Creator. But, yet again, we have a tendency to let other people define things for us, to include this modern phenomenon that equality must mean sameness, or acceptence into the ‘clique’. No, I will argue that there should be cliques that differentiate men and women, and we see this natural tendency in children. Boys will build a fort and it’s a ‘boys only’. And we find that girls will do the same thing, refuse to let the boys into their domain. This is a natural and healthy thing that I will argue must not be fought. I say that if a child is all upset, about being kicked out of the ‘club’ then good; then would be a prime time to try to encourage them to join yours. Assuming of course that your child should join your ‘club’ that is.