Category Archives: Biblical Counseling

Are you a boy or a girl?

This is a terribly sad and tragic thing. My heart goes out to everyone who is lost in all this confusion….

momsalzheimers

“Are you a boy or a girl?” my mom whispers into the phone, afraid her roommate might hear her question.

“A girl,” I say.

“You ARE?” she asks, as if she can’t believe it, as if it’s deeply upsetting for her.

“Yes.”

“How long have you been a girl?”

“I’ve always been a girl, Mom.”

“I never knew all this time that you were a girl,” she says, a note of shock in her voice. “Does it bother you to be a girl?”

“No, Mom.”

“Does everyone else in the family know you’re a girl?”

“Yes.”

“No one ever told me.”

I don’t know what to say to that.

“Do you look like a girl?” she asks.

“I guess so.”

“Do you have long hair?”

“No, I have short hair.”

“Do you dress like a girl?”

“Umm … yes.”

“Do you get your period and that kind of stuff?”

“Yes.”

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A Sinful Revoltionary War

 I remember learning about the Revolutionary War as a kid. Like most boys, the old war stories were always interesting. Some I like more than others. The Revolutionary War was my favorite for the longest time, one because it told us who we are, it was a huge part of our identity as a nation, and therefore as a people. The other reason was because a bunch of brave men stood up against injustice and tyranny and fought for freedom. Such a noble thing, a thing that boys are supposed to look to, to emulate.

I am afraid however, I now have a very different view of the Revolutionary War. I still see the colonists fighting against oppression and injustice. But I now see the colonial people as rebellious, having gone against God’s will. There are those who will take very sharply against this position. Usually those people are the ones who pride themselves the most as being Americans. My friends, we are not to find our identity as Americans so much as we are to find it in our heavenly identity. As citizens of heaven, we should not take such pride in being from Texas, or the country, or New York City, or even this great country, America.

Let’s be honest with ourselves, let’s be good Bereans, and actually apply the concepts of Scripture, instead of just nodding our head at it, as if that is all that we are required to do. We are told to obey the authorities of the civil government; unless doing so would be to sin. There is no caveat that I have seen thus far, no exception to the rule. To peacefully protest, to petition and overturn laws, to reform the government is one thing. To outright go to war is rebellion.

And what was the reason we are told as kids? Being taxed (heavily) without being able to vote. This is a matter of sinning against God? This is a ‘just cause’ that falls under the God given mandate to submit to our civil authorities, unless it’s a matter of sin?

Part of me wants to stand up with the Founding Fathers of our country for part of me understands. But I am bound by something higher than a moral code, something higher than justice and liberty. What I must obey is the Maker of Heaven and earth, the Alpha and the Omega; what He has to say is far more important than our pathetic concepts of ‘justice’ and ‘freedom’. Only true justice and freedom is found in following and obeying the One True God.


Modern Enemies of Masculinity: Re-Blogged

This is a re-posting of the article from http://www.yuriyandinna.com

I highly recommend you check out his other post, as it’s a two part series.

 

“Today’s world is seeing the greatest attack on Biblical masculinity that there has ever been!” That would have been a great intro and I really wanted to use it, but it’s not true. Biblical masculinity has always had enemies and has always been under attack. Twenty three hundred years ago, as Alexander the Great was storming the gates of Persia, Biblical masculinity was just as under attack as it was in the 60’s with the feminist movement. It has always been under assault and always will be. The enemies may change but the assault never does. So where do we see the greatest onslaught against manhood for today’s generation? I believe there are four ideas and cultural concepts that are the greatest villains and enemies preventing men from being men.

Prolonged adolescence

I lived seven years in the Ukraine, under the  “old ways.” I recall going to the store to buy bread, in the Ukraine, while being about six or seven years old; alone and without my parents. They let me, a child, go grocery shopping in a post-communist country with mafia roaming the streets! Unbelievable! Yet six years later I could hardly step foot outside the door without being warned of the many dangers, from kidnappers who would steal my organs, to street gangs who would sell me drugs. The modern American culture put far less responsibility on 14 year old Yuriy than the Slavic culture did on the 7 year old Yuriy. I became far less independent as a teenager, than I was as a child. This trend was not new, it has been ongoing for many years now. While a teenager in the 19th century was expected to be the man of the house, run the farm, and protect the home, the teenager of today is only expected to play Farmville.

In America I joined millions of other boys who lived sheltered lives and refused to grow up. Whatever the individual causes are (personal laziness, fear of growing up, uncertainty of the future, lack of role models) we as a culture embrace this prolonged adolescence. Growing up is not seen as very fun, and more so not necessary. Why grow up and take on responsibility when you can be a kid forever? Responsibility and work appears hard, dull, and unrewarding, while staying home and being stimulated by the extravagant sensory stimuli of video games, drugs, alcohol, movies, music, and porn is far more rewarding.

In addition the fear of failure hangs like a dark cloud above every act of responsibility or undertaking. While in video games we can accomplish things with no fear of failure; die or fail? You have one hundred more lives, or you can simply restart from your last save. And if it gets too stressful, you can simply turn it off and play another game. Having to marry, love, and care for one woman for the rest of your life is hard. It requires a deep seated commitment, a form of responsibility to the woman, rather than simple response to psychological or sexual desire. Looking at porn or sleeping around with girls is much easier, when one wants a sexual reward, he simply clicks or texts, and later when he doesn’t want it, he moves on. By remaining a teenager one can simply do what he wants to, not what he should do.

Our culture encourages young men that it is good and normal to remain boys. It is rather ironic but this partly happens in response to our overzealous attempts to give boys “their childhood.” Rather than explaining to children that adulthood is about taking responsibility for others who depend on you, our society as a whole explain it as the time of independence from parental restrictions. Rather than teaching manhood as giving up your desires to care for others, boys are taught that manhood is the time when you can follow your desires and do anything you want. In addition we have over-glamourized youthfulness as the perfect ideal that everyone wants to remain in or return to. This in turn has created a generation of children with voting rights.

The culprits range from overprotective mothers who baby their sons to irresponsible media portrayals of men, yet the ultimate effect is the same: men are don’t take on accountability and responsibility. They are either afraid of the hard work and the possibility of failure because they have been babied, or they don’t want it because they have been trained to follow their lazy and overstimulated feelings. Manhood, on the other hand, involves taking responsibility for the well being of others. For the babied child-man this is frightening and for the overstimulated man-boy this is not as rewarding as pursuing his own pleasures.

Reckless machismo

Of those that have matured beyond the fear of responsibility and actually want to become men, in some shape or form, there is an even greater problem, they don’t know how to. There is a striking lack of role models in contemporary society. Primarily there is a huge lack of fathers, according to the statistics, at least one third of all children grow up without a father. (1) And those that have a biological or adoptive father, don’t necessarily have one who can adequately model masculinity. This leaves our generation without much in terms of solid role models of manhood. And to make matters worse our society and culture is so contorted that true masculinity is not help up in high regard. Because of this, those boys that have solid role model fathers, uncles, teachers, and others often choose to imitate other “boys who can shave” because of their glamorized portrayal in society or media.

I grew up thinking Rambo was the greatest man ever. Granted, my parents did not know this, nor did they let me watch it, however, I had my ways, which usually included sneaking out to a friend’s house when both of our parents were away. In the first Rambo film, Rambo kills 58 people, in the second 78, and in the third he singlehandedly takes down a total of 83 bad guys. Rambo is not someone you want to mess with, he exudes toughness, strength, and domination. Even now I can picture the puffed out Sylvester Stallone lip, slightly drooping to one side. One simple glance from Rambo was enough to cause grown men to cower. He was a total “badass,” or so I thought. Unfortunately I wasn’t alone in thinking that and ended up growing up thinking manhood had something to do with big muscles, a mean face, demeaning manner, and fighting… lots of fighting.

In most ancient cultures, great warriors were greatly honored. Notwithstanding the fact that there were indeed great men of renown, who fought bravely for justice and righteousness, most “great warriors” were simply rapists and murderers. The majority of these brute men would simply run into a town or city, kill its men, and rape their women (all because their king/chief wanted to feel masculine and powerful). It was a world of brute force and strength. If you had strength, you could take anything; if you were weak, you could do nothing. The strong preyed on the weak, even in the home, physically powerful men would domineer over their own wives, daughters, and sons. Other men, who were kind or gentle, were seen as effeminate or weak.

Unfortunately much of our modern concept of manhood still stems from such vile, ugly, primal ideas. For many 6ft boys the idea of masculinity of manhood is centered on strength, power, and toughness. Many think masculinity is about taking anything you want through violence or arrogance. While popular media, in film and television, often portrays heroes as self-sacrificial and responsible, just as often it shows them as those that take what they will through violence. Many growing boys assume this portrayal of physical toughness is the defining feature of masculinity, and grow up to become spoiled irritable children, in tough, battle-tested, muscled bodies. They are fearsome, yes, but are they masculine? Hardly.  Biblical manhood on the other hand shows men as both tough and tender, or lamblike/lionhearted as Christ (Rev 5:5–6). True masculinity is not about taking with violence, but sacrificing with humility. It is about displaying toughness to protect those you love, and eschewing tenderness towards them.


J.C. Ryle on Unpure Practices in the Church


7 (8) Reasons Why Women Should not be Cops

1. NOT a Woman’s Spiritual make-up: Peter 3:3–4 which urges women to cultivate a “gentle and quiet spirit.” Being a cop is NOT cultivating this. God did not create women to be the aggressive, assertive, dominant sex, and yet, that is precisely what the feminists want and the police force needs.

2. NOT a Woman’s Physical make-up: Clearly God did not design women, as a whole and in general, with this purpose in mind, clearly it was a role that God gave men, so why are women taking it from them? Why are women going against God’s obvious intent? If it is wrong for a man to hit a woman because he is stronger, then what about a woman who is a cop?

3. Image: In Song of Solomon, we see it is the woman’s job is to bare the image of a flower, of beauty and fragility. “I am a rose of Sharon, a lily of the valleys.” Song 2:1. Impossible to do as a Navy Seal or a soldier. A woman should represent womanhood IN the home AND outside the home. This cannot be done in the inherently masculine role of a cop, or, like my previous post talked about, as G. I. Jane.

4. Setting bad example: If it is not something you want your children to emulate, then why are you doing it? A woman as a cop or even a soldier can lead to confusion, and gender confusion leads to homosexuality. The number of lesbians in the military and especially the police force, are incredibly high. There is a correlation that many men in the military have picked up on. Your are leading others kids astray, causing them to stumble…

5. Scandalous: Furthering on the last note, I am afraid that a ‘Christian’ woman who is a cop, is creating a scandal. Because of the reputation of female cops as being lesbians is such a recognized truth among certain groups, it is pure scandal in the church of Christ. Eph. 5:3, “But sexual immorality and any impurity or greed should not even be heard of among you, as is proper for saints. (Italics mine).”

6. Usurping /stealing man’s intended purpose and role: God gave this role to men, so why are women taking it, as if they ‘have a right’ to it? This is not the natural order of things that God has set forth, and yet so many people instinctively  know this. God does not screw up, nor is He arbitrary; He designed men and women for a  purpose, and those purposes are NOT the same. A man’s role is to protect women, children, and society. Why do we have women who are not satisfied with their God given roles?

7. Pragmatic Reason: Men are not being men, to a very large degree, because women are not being women. You want your man to be a man? Then get out of his way and stop doing his job for him. Very, very, few men desire to have a wife who is a cop; it is shameful for a man if a woman is just as, or more so, of a man than he is. This is inherent in the way God made men and women. You want to increase your odds of getting married? Be a woman, not a man.

8. Cross-dressing is Wrong: It is a perversion, it’s ungodly. Society ‘accepts’ men and women who cross dress, but that does not mean the God who created them does. Our God is not a God of confusion so why do we have women who are dressing up in the manliest clothes they can possibly wear? Because they want to be masculine. This is wrong, unhealthy, and only creates confusion. Just because society applauds women wearing clothes that makes are inherently masculine, does not mean the church should.

This feminist culture has redefined what it means to be a woman, now the church needs to redefine it again, back to what it should be. Even little children know that a woman should not be a cop, let us humble ourselves and learn from  the ‘wisdom from the mouth of babes’.