Thoughts on Raising Children, Boys as Boys and Girls as Girls…..


Humans have a natural tendency to be cliquish, we are all aware of this, and we have this notion that they are always destructive and harmful. Well, I would like to submit that this is not always so. There is a ‘man’ clique and a ‘woman’ clique. And I will dare to say that these cliques are both good and healthy. Yes it means rejection, and yes rejection is painful and unpleasant, but it is not as destructive as one might think. If a man tries to join the ‘woman’ clique, and finds that they reject him, but that the men are welcoming and inviting logic says it is rather simple as to where he will go. And vise versa. But suppose the opposite, say that a woman is rejected in the ‘woman’ clique and is accepted and esteemed in the ‘man’ clique. It is also fairly simple to understand this dynamic.

There is this idea that rejection will hurt ones self-esteem, and true, I would say this is true. But I will also submit that this is perfectly ok and acceptable. Take for example, the number one reason men are so scared to ask a woman out on a date; fear of rejection. And yet we find that this is not an acceptable excuse or reason for a man to be cowardly. It is not healthy to always live in fear of rejection. What we need is for men and women to stand up, and tell the opposite sex to get back into their groups. A man doing all the things a woman does and being womanly about it, does not, and never will, make him ‘equal’ to a woman, for equality does equal uniformity or sameness. And a woman doing all the things a man does and being manly while doing it, will never make her ‘equal’ to a man. Equality is, at its most basic and important level, never derived from any action or quality. Neither man nor woman can add to their value, their intrinsic value that is assigned by God. True, man does assign value, and he always will. He will do so from his own limited view and it will always be faulty, because as man; and therefore a created being; he is vastly limited in his sight. No, people will never understand equality if they do not perceive and understand it from the eyes of the Creator. But, yet again, we have a tendency to let other people define things for us, to include this modern phenomenon that equality must mean sameness, or acceptence into the ‘clique’. No, I will argue that there should be cliques that differentiate men and women, and we see this natural tendency in children. Boys will build a fort and it’s a ‘boys only’. And we find that girls will do the same thing, refuse to let the boys into their domain. This is a natural and healthy thing that I will argue must not be fought. I say that if a child is all upset, about being kicked out of the ‘club’ then good; then would be a prime time to try to encourage them to join yours. Assuming of course that your child should join your ‘club’ that is.

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About Daniel Mason

I write from the historic protestant worldview, that is, Reformed. I hope you will be both blessed and challenged by my writings. View all posts by Daniel Mason

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